Ode-crepit Ode-ssa

I associate Odessa with Ostap Bender – an arch type conman from the novel “The Golden Calf”. Ostap is a Soviet guy obsessed by becoming rich. His adventures bring him to a city at the “Bleak Sea” where he says “ strange town where they took the monuments out of the cemetery”.

That’s how I found Odessa - as a cemetery of decrepit monuments.

But let’s start with getting there. After last weekend E40 road adventure I decided to fly. Metro does not reach the Kiev airport and locals either keep a knowledge of how to get there by bus a well kept secret or have more money than I do and always take a taxi. There is no “hotel to airport bus” or “railway station to airport bus”. So I ask an assistant to order a taxi - as locals do. We agree on time and place for taxi to pick me up and I get a taxi number - a 7 digit number displayed on a board placed atop of a taxi roof. On Saturday morning I leave on my house and wait for a cab. As I get out of my building I see a cab parked in front of it. I see numbers on the backside of the board, check them against numbers put on a paper by my assistant and these do not match. Few minutes later I call my assistant and tell her there is a taxi in front of my building but with different numbers. She calls a taxi company. Some minutes later a lady from a taxi company calls and says – there is a taxi waiting for you. I ask what kind of car. “An orange Chevrolet”. That’s true - I respond - but the numbers on the board are different from numbers I have on a confirmation and I read her the numbers. “Go and check numbers from the front” the lady instructs me. And indeed the numbers on the front are the same as numbers on the paper. Why would I ever think that a legit taxi should have the same set of numbers on the front and the back of the board?

Domestic Kiev airport reminds of E40. Only hay is missing. No electronic boards but cardboards placed on check in counters randomly. No official announcements. You ask and if you are lucky you get a right answer. Otherwise keep asking. I flew YAK 40 -another Soviet relict. There is a joke in Ukraine which goes like: “Why is it dangerous to go by train in Ukraine? Because planes fall on trains.”. As average train speed in Ukraine is 50 km per hour I guess our plane could not locate any train en route. But landing in Odessa was quite bumpy. Possibly the airport tarmac was build by same construction engineers as E40.
The bus came to pick us up and after 500m opened doors next to the road. No need to go through the building. A group of taxi drivers waited. I asked for a rate to the city and quote was 200UAH (about USD 40). In the office I was informed the rate is around UAH 100. I tried to negotiate the rate down, but as I am obviously a foreigner - taxi drivers decided UAH 200 is what I should pay. Fortunately I did some research and was aware there is a small buss (more like a van) called “marshrutnoye taxi” which goes from the airport to the railway station. I found it and the rate for it was UAH.1. 75. In the bus everyone was nice and tried to be helpful . I had to change from a bus to a tram on the railways station. The tram drove straight through the market. Slow but exciting ride. Once I made to the city center I was in shock. I was surrounded by ruins. Odessa was build 200 years ago by two Frenchmen. But I could see only ruins of what once were beautiful baroque buildings. For some photos see http://picasaweb.google.nl/gordie26/Odessa_1
In Lviv buildings are also old but I felt that people care about them. There is no money but tender loving care is visible through potted plants on windows, no garbage on streets, no gaping holes in buildings. In Odessa it seems nobody cares how the city looks.
People most likely got prime real estate for almost nothing by typical Ukrainian methods. Now they sit on it waiting to sell it for millions of USD without investing a hrivnya. Why should they bother with esthetics in Odessa when most likely they live in London or Paris?
My camera got fed up with ruins too. It broke down. I usually have a spare. This time I decided to travel light and left a spare camera in Kiev. Travelling light disagrees with me.
Frustrated by ruins and upset by a broken camera I decided to check in the hotel. The secretary booked one of better hotels called Londonskaya. There I showed my confirmation. I have to remark that a secretary sent an email with attachment stating “attached is your confirmation”. I printed the attachment and placed in my travel folder withou checking it. In hotel I showed my passport and my hotel confirmation. The receptionist glanced at both than asked me where is a hotel confirmation. I looked at her and told her I just gave it to her. “But it is not from our hotel” she responded. “That’s not possible” was my answer but I took a confirmation and started to read: "Thanks for booking at "Grand Hotel Ukraine" in.... Dnepropetrovsk!" This is a town about 440km from Odessa! The same agency which booked the hotel - booked my flights to Odessa! Typical!
In "Londonskaya" they had a room available – but I insisted to check it first. There where so many stairs and such long corridors I worried I would get lost getting in and out of the room. Plus I had an impression there are no guests there. I decided to check in elsewhere. The closest hotel was "Mozart" - which opposite to the most beautiful building in Odessa - the Opera. I asked receptionist if there is a free room in the hotel. Yes –there is. I am taking it. No room checking this time. She asks for a credit card -I pass it to her. Few minutes later she gives me a receipt to sign. I look at the receipt and the amount is three times the price of what she told me. I ask for an explanation and she tells me "this amount is for three rooms you asked for”. How “free” mutated in “three” is beyond me. But this incident brings a memory of another hotel experiance in St. Petersburg. First time in St Petersburg I arrived there very late and facing some accomodation problems decided that after midnight the best way to avoid problems is to check in the most expensive hotel. I entered "Grand Hotel Europe" and at the empty check in desk asked a kid if there is a free room in hotel. "No" was the answer. I must have a puzzled look as a kid immidiatly explained "We do not have free rooms here. You have to pay". Seems I should avoid phrase "free room" when checking in hotels.
Next week I'll be in Kharkov.